


I Can Make Some Time For Something So Divine

by deathbitch



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Diego is just along for the ride, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Kinda, Lila’s Schemes, honestly just a good fluffy time, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25827370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathbitch/pseuds/deathbitch
Summary: Lila often used her silver tongue to get what she wanted. That included a ‘free’ three course meal (+ complimentary champagne, of course!) on a date with her new flame, Diego Hargreeves.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	I Can Make Some Time For Something So Divine

**Author's Note:**

> Be wary of grammar/spelling mistakes. Lmao. Honestly idk when this is set. Definitely in the same universe as TUA, but in some modern day setting.

“Are you always this tightly wound?” Lila asked, bringing Diego’s attention back to her from where he found himself looking around the restaurant they sat in. He hadn’t even realized he’d let his eyes wonder until Lila’s soft accent breached the fog in his mind, so light and somewhat gentle, a contrast to her black-rimmed eyes and her abrasive personality.

“What? No, I -,” Diego started but cut himself off, reaching a hand out to pick up his champagne glass, “I was just thinking,” He offered as a final explanation, even going as far as throwing in a small shrug before he picked up his glass and took a mouthful. He resisted the urge to make a face against the taste of the champagne when he remembered it was free. 

Diego often found himself jealous of Lila’s flawless silver tongue. That’s what landed them here, in the most elegant and luxurious restaurant Diego had ever been in, dressed in their finest outfits and drinking free champagne because Lila had crossed her arm with his and proudly announced to the waiter that Diego had recently proposed. 

“Where did you even get the ring?” Diego asked, taking a bite from his chocolate mousse. Lila had flashed her ring finger at the star struck waiter with emotional eyes and an excitable grin. It was a glitzy little thing, sitting pretty against her skin and catching the light in just the right way. 

Lila took a bite from her strawberry with her right hand and held her left hand out in front of her to examine her silver ring. Her fingers waggled as she wore a grin of pride and nostalgia, “Mum got it for me when I turned eighteen. This, and my first pistol.”

“Of course. The normal thing a person would gift a child,” Diego commented, taking another swig of his champagne before he ran a hand down the lapel of his black suit, “A pistol.”

Lila’s shoulders sagged, her hands dropping as she fixed Diego with a pointed look, “And the normal thing to give a ten year old on their birthday is their very own butterfly knife?” 

Diego huffed a laugh at her and rolled his eyes in a playful manner, “It’s called a _balisong,_ and I love that knife, I’ll have you know. I still have it to this day,” He said, then made to finish the last of his dessert. 

“God, now I know why you’ve never had a proper girlfriend,” Lila retorted, then took a bite from her last strawberry. 

“Oh?” Diego’s eyebrows rose up in half put-upon offence, the fork he held in his hand frozen half way between the table and himself as he swallowed down the chocolatey treat in his mouth. There was a distant pang of sadness he felt in the shut-away corridors in his heart and mind but those grief-filled confides were covered in fog and, for the most part, repressed. 

Lila held up her palms to him in a display of innocence, “Or a boyfriend! Whatever floats your boat,” She replied with a small grin. Diego watched her with soft eyes as she drank the rest of her champagne in a couple mouthfuls with only slightly knitted eyebrows. She was made up in her eyeliner, glossy lips, pretty necklace and black backless mini dress with petite golden straps. Lila was absolutely gorgeous. 

The lighting in the restaurant bathed her in an atmospheric, yellow glow from the string lights that ran across the ceiling. It served to highlight the booths on the left wall, a TV in the middle of each booth playing an ambient fireplace screensaver.

“Are you finished eating?” Lila asked after a couple minutes of companionable silence. 

Diego looked to Lila’s finished plate and then down to his own empty plate. He grabbed the soft napkin, unfolding it from its intricate design and wiping at his mouth whilst nodding that yes, he was finished. He crumpled up the napkin and placed it on the plate on front of him, picking up his plate and placing it on top of Lila’s.

“Aw, such a gent,” Lila commented with an amused smile and stood up, her chair scraping slightly against the wooden floors, “Let’s go.”

“What? Where are you going?” Diego looked up at her to see her staring back at him like the answer was obvious. 

“We’re leaving?” Lila replied then made to turn on her heel. 

“We can’t just leave!” Diego said, a nervous panic in his voice as he looked down at the unpaid food, “We haven’t paid!”

“You can afford this, can you? I definitely can’t. Now come on,” Lila looked around the restaurant to see if anyone had caught on to her intentions before she grabbed the bottle of champagne and made a bee line for the exit. Diego had no choice but to stand up and follow her out with an anxiety that he hoped wasn’t too present on his face. _Why was he always roped into Lila’s schemes?_ He should have known this was going to happen.

Diego internally cringed when he crossed their waiter, who had announced himself when they arrived as _Bradley_ in an overly practiced customer service voice. And not just any customer service - the type that accompanies patrons in a five star restaurant. Diego nodded at him and began to walk faster when he saw the notes of recognization on his face that - yup, they were definitely walking out on a hundred dollar meal without paying. 

They almost reached the ornate double doors to freedom when they heard, “Hey!”, prompting Lila to grab Diego’s hand as she progressed into a sprint as they made their way out the doors and into the humid night, “Get back here you haven’t paid!”

Diego heard Lila curse under her breath as she ran in her needle-sharp heels, a skill that Diego allowed himself for a moment to be impressed at. A couple of bystanders jumped out the way when they saw them booking it down the street before Lila dragged him into an alley they almost ran past. It was narrow and Diego was well aware of how close they were, the both of them listening out for any pursuers but hearing nothing but their slightly labored breathing. 

“Never had a proper girlfriend?” Diego asked, his mind wandering back to Lila’s earlier presumption. He wasn’t sure if the race in her heart was from the running or the way her eyes looked in the washed-out street light that hung above them. 

“Is there an open position?” Lila replied, as cool as ever, her voice slightly breathless and they seemed to both realize that their hands were still clasped between them. She removed her hand from his and let it gently raise up the length of his arm, barely grazing her finger tips against the material of his jacket until her hand gently rest on his neck. 

Diego let his hand come to rest on her hip, feeling her closing the gap then feeling himself leaning in closer, his eyes slipping shut as they came together -

“Ah!!! What the fuck?!” Diego stumbled back when he felt a burst of liquid hit him square in the face. He opened his eyes to see Lila laughing hysterically, swallowing down the champagne in her mouth that she didn’t spit at him. She doubled over with the laughter momentarily before she took another swig and gave a small victory dance, her whole face lit up with pride and happiness. 

“Wow, you really thought,” Lila quipped to Diego’s annoyance, earning her a hearty eye roll as he wiped the back of his sleeve over his face to rid himself of the alcoholic droplets that stuck to his features. 

“Why did you even take the bottle?” Diego asked, half rhetorically but fully exasperated. Lila once again looked at him with a pointed look and a raised eyebrow, as though the answer was really obvious. 

“Well, my dear fiancé, it was complimentary to our celebratory dinner,” Lila replied with a giggle and took another mouthful, passing the bottle to Diego and taking him by the hand again, “Now, come on. I didn’t get this dolled up for nothing. We have a city to explore.”

Diego didn’t resist her pulling him along one little bit. Instead, he heaved a sigh and downed a mouthful. It’s the least he would need if he was going to let himself be pulled so easily into Lila’s beautiful whirlwind.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, how I simply adore these two. They’ve been living in my mind rent free since I watched season 2 in literally one sitting. Lila is such a great character and I can’t wait to see how see develops in season 3, and what turns their relationship will take after the finale. 
> 
> I hope y’all enjoyed this. I just *had* to write a fluffy little something or other about them. I just KNOW Lila has Diego wrapped around her pinky finger. 
> 
> Until next time, friends. :) Title is taken from ‘My Favorite Part’ - Mac Miller


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